Monday, June 13, 2016

Constipation, Poker, Mud

My all time prevention and cure for constipation is Chow Mein.

No stool softeners or pills stuck up my ass. Been there done that. Chow Mein works the best. Looking for a restaurant to sponsor and pay me for my Constipation Cure. Best to use restaurants with home delivery service. Chow Mein sometimes works in a hurry.

More Jews died in Kansas City from heart attacks going for an inside straight than from any other reason....The winners tell stories, while the losers scream, 'Deal, deal, deal already'....I was winning and winning, until I lost...Poker mantras from the 1940's and 50's.

The over two months aboard a hospital ship coming back to the states (Wilmington, Ca) were spent shooting craps, playing a bastard form of bridge and real poker. Nights often produced wonderful wet dreams.Wrote my folks almost every day. Letters censored (4 letter words, okay) and mailed from the various port stops.

Betty Sheets has described Seoul, Korea as a 'huge, modern city'. In 1945/46 it was a huge, not so modern, fucking mud hole when it rained in particular. You were literally up to your ass in mud. Damned little to recommend Seoul for an abrasive Bronx Jew, like me who never heard of Korea until he was there as a Sargent in the Signal Corps, which like my sex life, is gone. Long gone.

D Day barely mentioned in the press this year except for advertising D Day retail sales. Korean War and its veterans are now invisible. The National WWII Museum, in New Orleans, should be a model for our other wars. Thank you Peter Foss and others.

Driving at 16 was wonderful. Driving at 92 is dangerous for other drivers on the road. Hello Lyft.

Riddle me this:When did an operation become a procedure? And why? Older people look at me like a bull with a bastard calf when I use procedure to describe my aorta valve replacement.

~

3 comments:

Cindy said...

That's a hoot about chow mein!

mup said...

Proving once again "to each his own", we just need to figure it out :)

Jan McGill said...

There was a lot of gratitude down here in Los Angeles on Memorial Day. I went with my Mom to lay flowers for some long gone soldiers and sailors, and was lucky enough to thank a few WW2 vets. You are not forgotten, not by a long shot. Manners have changed, and some young people have no clue as to how they got to be as lucky as they are. Lots of young men have zero grace. Young women don't even have the brains to respect Gloria Steinem or others like her who paved the way for their lucky emancipated lives, but no matter. You know who you are, and we know who you are, dear Bernie, and we thank you for it. Leave the mattress sales to the scrambling peasants. XOX