Georgia Silver, Oak Creek Apartments

'Do me a favor Georgia and stick your head up your ass and spin like a merry-go-round.'

Georgia Silver was a psychologist who needed a shrink herself or maybe just some active sex. Georgia would show up at the tennis courts perfectly turned out. She looked as though she was going to lunch or tea with the ladies at the country club. But no matter how hard she tried to make herself look good the fucking pain in the ass in her always shone through.

The Oak Creek Apartments in Palo Alto where I lived, then and now, should have been called, Splitsville City. About 80% of the residents had been recently divorced, separated or living in sin.

One drive we all had in common was to resurrect our sex lives. Having read where water beds were a great help I bought one. Pure bullshit. All that happened was that the constantly gurgling water made me want to piss.

There was a tennis playing community within this 750 apartment complex. Great place for me when the Princess threw me out. Available sex with California style, active living.

Thankfully, Georgia counted me as one if her most disliked people. Since I wouldn't play mixed doubles or as my son Joe called them,'mixed troubles’, with her I incurred Georgia's undying hate. The icing on the cake came when, for the second time, I turned her invitation down to play doubles with her by telling Ole Sweet Pea that 'Varicose Veins tennis wasn't my thing.'

Oak Creek had, at that time, an insane rule where, on the weekend, two people could only use a court for 30 minutes. I was hitting tennis balls with a good friend of mine Rick Fisher, who had been Co-captain of the Stanford tennis team. Rick was on the tennis pro circuit at the time and was being kind to me. He was way, way out of my 20 handicap golf equivalent tennis. We certainly didn't play a match, we just hit balls.

Rick and I had about 5 minutes of our 30 minutes left when Georgia showed up at the back of the court and growled/shouted 'Your time is up.' I looked at my watch, saw that we had 5 minutes left and said 'Georgia we have five minutes left. Do me a favor Georgia and stick your head up your ass and spin like a merry-go round'. Rick and I played out our five minutes.

Then one day up stomps Georgia who had been married to a shrink named Bernie who I knew from my married days when the Princess and I would go to dinner with him and Georgia. Bernie Silver had left neat, perfectly turned out Georgia, for a 29 year old attractive woman but no trophy wife. (Bernie was around 50) .The new wife dressed the opposite of Georgia. She was kinda sloppy and wore jeans. Georgia while stomping towards me screamed 'Do you know what that son-of-a-bitch Bernie did to me? He died on me.' She screamed (like a banshee).

She believed that poor Bernie died to do her out of the alimony she was collecting. What a bitch. The last I heard she was a practicing psychologist specializing in marital relationships.

And the water bed? I gave it away! I contracted ED the one time I tried sex on it. Rolling around on a gurgling stream didn't work for me.