Being A Garmento 1953

One way for a marriage to stay in tact is for one or both of the spouses to travel a lot. It takes a lot longer for the couple to get bored with one another (aka sick of one another…and this is Noah talking about the flood). My first bout with getting out of the house for at least four or five days at a time was in peddling dresses on the road (aka travelin' man living). It was wonderful. The Princess didn't have to worry about having sex with me, and I didn't have to worry about pleasing her. I was, to turn a phrase, "pussy whipped". Also I couldn't figure out whether I was a lousy lover or that the Ice Princess didn't care about sex. Carries over to that old line that the best way to stop a married man from masturbating is to get him a divorce.

I had no dress selling competency. I got the job by convincing the bosses that I was a powerful salesman and that they should take a gamble on me. I spent three weeks working in the showroom (1440 Broadway) to learn. I had volunteered to work for nothing but the boss couldn't handle that so I received a small retainer.

My first territory was Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri, Eastern Kansas, Wisconsin, and Eastern Nebraska. A lot of two lane roads, 60-70 miles between towns. I could drive through a target town without realizing that I had gone through it. I then had to turn around and go back to the fucking town. When N.Y. sent me sample dresses, they would enclose a note describing the fabric. It was not until I covered N.Y. and Pennsylvania that I started making money and really loved the work. The joy of not having to be pussy whipped by the Princess was huge as well.

In the Midwest, you would get to some no name town with three dress shops. The owner of one would be out of town, the owner of the second wouldn't look at my line and the third would look but wouldn't buy. Very unpleasant. Every night in the hotel room, I would bang out thank you notes on a Royal Portable typewriter. "Sorry I missed you", "Sorry you wouldn't look at my line" and "Sorry that you didn't see anything you liked". The next time I hit that no name town, each of the owners greeted me with open arms (if they were there). I became a top salesman, but the biggest pay period I would have had turned to shit when the corduroy factory that produced the fabric for my hottest selling dress burned down.

The Ice Princess' father just plain didn't like his kid being married to a garmento travelin' man for sure. The fact is, he just didn't like me. Sadly it took me a very long time to realize that the dislike ran in the family including the Princess' sister. The Mother had died so I was relatively safe there.