Weed, Shrinks and Group Analysis

'There is nothing more boring than perfect.', said the spider to the fly.

Smoking dope wasn't my thing. Tried it once. The Princess liked it. Our next door neighbor, a shrink loved it and always had a supply of marijuana on hand. I went to several parties, after I quit drinking, that were shrink centric. Smoking dope was the life of the shrink's parties.

So, being Jewish, automatically guilty and in defiance of Einstein's law where he says that if you keep doing the same thing over and over again, each time looking for a different result, you are insane, I went, one more time after the Princess unloaded me, to a shrink.

Proving my second ex-wife correct. The first one thought me to be "bizarre" while my second ex-wife thought me "strange" or "crazy".

Group therapy is an unbelievable experience. You sit in a circle and each person talked about their problems. And, as with one on one sessions with the shrink, no one ever left any session laughing.

Having spent 50 minutes exploring what the hell was wrong with you, makes it plenty fucking tough to feel good about yourself. Maybe the phrase 'circle jerk' came out of group therapy.

The big plus of shrinkage is that you learn all about yourself which took me about a year. You get to know why you do a lot of stuff. But knowing why you're fucking up is a long way from stopping being fucking up. But at least you know why.

The big minus is that the shrink gets to look at you as a big fucking milk cow but the teats have money in them not milk. Squeezing those teats provide for wives, kids, mortgages and 'girlfriends'. Letting go of the ‘milk cow' is seldom prime on the agenda.

So, in my 'group' was a good looking, smart woman who was married to a shrink. She was the group 'facilitator', whatever that meant. One day she showed up wearing a Star of David. She was as Irish as Paddy's pig which stimulated a lot of curiosity.

An Irish broad wearing the Star of David just didn’t work. We later found out that the shrink who was Jewish was banging her and since she was already married a fucking engagement ring wouldn't work. So they settled on a gold Star of David hanging on a gold chain hanging around her not so golden goddamn neck.

They both got divorces and did marry, with the shrink's original wife going off the fucking wall. She in turn signed up, right away, for therapy with another shrink. As with me, she was a slow learner. She was Jewish, so she believed that the divorce was all her fault.

And is it any wonder that shrinks bang their patients and vice versa? The patient, in my view, mixes up dependence with love so 'afucking' we will go. Didn't work for me. Never had a woman shrink nor am I gay.

A memorable experience, actually a nightmare, was a 24 hour marathon group session where everyone sat around a circle, for 24 hours, slamming one another and just beating the shit out of your thinking, your personality, the way you dressed and anything else someone in the group could think of that made you unacceptable.

Spending 24 hours being told that you are a worthless piece of shit ain't fun. The only laughs were the ones you were the subject of.

I have always believed that 'interventions' used on drunks and addicts came out of group fucking therapy.

Life without premeditation is wonderful....