Monday, January 13, 2014

Reid Dennis, Wilson Johnson & Higgins, Fucking For Practice



'The only difference between you and me Peter is that you fuck your clients always wearing your vest. I don't always wear a vest'.

With or without eye drops, living next door to Reid Dennis was an eye opener. Reid was a venture capital investor before either terms, 'Venture Capitalist' or 'Silicon Valley' were invented.

He was a genius investor with the touch of Midas, investing very successfully in start-ups including Ampex the grand daddy of the video tape recorder and even our current consumer and industrial recording technology. Reid's investment success extended to regular, gee whiz, mature companies as well.

Blythe & Co, an investment bank, had done a study in the early 50's which showed conclusively that new and used car salesmen made the best stock brokers. The combination of the disastrous and then moribund stock market of the 30's had made being a fucking stock broker unattractive, thereby generating a shortage of self perceived geniuses.

Hearing Reid's investing success stories and the combination of my built in drive for success plus greed drove me to the pearly gates of the financial world. Transferring the flimflams necessary to being a successful furrier, dress salesman, farmer and car salesman to being a stock broker was easy. Three years in the Army and getting shot added to my street smart base. The transition to the financial world was a slam, fucking, dunk.

Fully embracing the concept of 'Serendipity' I went into the business of broking of which I knew nothing. The stock broker shortage gave me the opening to enter the financial world. Later, Bronx, street educated Jews like me didn't have a chance to enter the financial world. We just didn't 'fit'.

The poor Princess cried the Mississippi River at my latest 'career change'. But the Princess quickly embraced the good life once the money started rolling in, while, avoiding embracing me. But the financial world opened the door to a lifetime of meeting great people and bums. Sadly, the world of CEO's offered too many bums. Yes there were 'Saints' as well, but not near the number of bums.

From Joe Wood Pontiac to Wilson, Johnson & Higgins Investments was an easy change for me. The move from shoving cars out the front door to wearing button down shirts, a bow tie and suits with an occasional vest, to pushing shares of stock of companies that I didn't know shit about was almost pleasant But in retrospect, laughable.

While farming I became convinced that the expression 'honest Iowa farmer' was a total piece of bullshit. Those 'honest, clean living, non profane speaking, church going farmers would fuck you for practice even if it did them zero amount of good. They just didn't want to forget how to do it. With the help of Reid Dennis I became a competent security analyst so I didn't have to peddle someone else's touts. I made my own smart calls and my own mistakes.

Yeah, being, screwed, blued and tattooed by farmers had become an important part of my Iowa life style. But those painful years contributed mightily to my successes in the financial world. Selling cars was not a step up from raising hogs in fucking Iowa.


Peddling shares? As I told a pontificating asshole, Lazard Freres Partner, 'The only difference between you and me Peter is that you fuck your clients always wearing a vest. I don't always wear a vest."

A few months at Wilson, Johnson & Higgins opened my eyes to another sophisticated bullshit genre. The management genre. I quickly learned that some management would say anything to promote the share prices of their companies. (Bear in mind that the SEC's oversight was virtually non-existent in the late 50's and early 60's. In those days the SEC commissioners wore cowboy hats but had no cattle).

In an effort to garner the companies' investment banking business the investment banking 'suits' would repeat the corporate exaggerations in order to peddle the companies' shares to their clients, friends and enemies. It took slobs like me very little time to become paranoid about the corporate claims and the investment bankers’/analysts’ anxiousness to perpetuate the borderline bogus claims.

As a friend said "School learning doesn't compare to living learning."


After a few months at Wilson, Johnson & Higgins, the error of my ways got to what conscience I had and I went 'straight'. Joined New York Stock Exchange member, Irving Lundborg & Co. thereby joining a genre where everyone including me, was totally powerless over our own bullshit and believed everything we said.

But that move opened the door to a lifetime of consorting with straight shooting oil and gas companies' CEOs, gentlemen all. Dean McGee, Joe Pevehouse, Jon Brumley, Deane Stoltz, John Moore, Ashley Priddy plus non oil and gas straight shooters, S.A. Ibrahim, Jeff Immelt, John Myers, John Carlson and Marian Pardo to name but a few.