Archbishop Paul Marcinkus, Mayor of Vatican City, President of The Institute For Religious Works (aka Vatican Bank) and The Jew From The Bronx

"Bernie did you see those Swiss guards when you checked into the Vatican? And you know my secretary Mauvi don't you? Well Mauvi and those Swiss guards get paid. Don't bring me deals that don't bring me income."

And so down the tubes went a proposal that I made to Archbishop Paul Marcinkus, the President of the Vatican Bank and Mayor of Vatican City. I had developed a personal relationship with the Bishop over a 10 year time span and he had agreed to see me regarding an oil and gas royalty deal. The deal was dependent on successful wildcat drilling to generate income. Turned out that the guy in charge of the drilling couldn't find his ass with either hand much less oil or gas with drilling equipment. He didn't find even a mouthful of oil or gas. The author Philip Wylie once said that "the problem with common sense is that it ain't so common".

But the Bishop proved that he did have some common sense (aka street smarts), and he turned down the deal which turned out to be a bad bet on a bad concept. But I stayed in touch with the Bishop. He was a terriffic guy. He loved playing golf and I would send him, from time to time, golf books and boxes of golf balls. He would "try" to convert me. He was "for decades, one of the highest ranking American prelates to the Vatican serving Popes John XXX III, Paul VI and John Paul II." But at the end of the day, he was in many ways a simple learned priest, from Cicero, Illinois without a financial background. The Bishop also lacked the deep seated cynical trait that is so crucial to being a successful money manager.

Sadly, he became embroiled in two scandals where one principal, a banker named Calvi, was found hanging beneath a bridge in London. Calvi had been a friend of the Bishop and was convicted of fruad. That association cost the Vatican Bank over $200 million. Previously the Bishop was involved with a shadowy character named Sidona, with Mafia connections, who died in prison in Milan after drinking a cup of coffee laced with poison. That friendship cost the Vatican tens of millions or so it is said.

At one point the Italian government indicted the Bishop, but he confined himself to Vatican City for a few years until the indictment was dropped. The Bishop was, for me a marvelous man who added significantly to the richness of my life, and I cried when I learned of his death from Mauvi, his secretary. It was rumored that he was "banging" Mauvi who was not my cup of tea. And no, in twenty years, I never did do a deal with him which had absolutely nothing to do with my affection for the Bishop.