Up, Up and Away

'Old age gives a whole new meaning to 'blow it out your ass.'... Jack Tunnell


Getting dressed in the morning becomes a 15 minute stretching exercise including a need to check the exercise sweat's pockets to be sure that I didn't put the sons of bitches on backwards.

Taking a diuretic causes me to wonder if I'm pissing my life away out of my dripping faucet. All the while wondering if I will ever get a good night's sleep again. Yeah a 'wet dream' would have a different meaning at almost 93.

I do fantasize about resurrecting my dead dick. No sexual disruption here since there ain't no sex.

Easy breathing and pushing 93 ain't easy to come by. Throw in replacing an aorta heart valve has made easy breathing a real challenge.

Thanks to my fabulous daughter in-law, Lisa, my recent round trip to, in and from the VA Pulmonary section was uneventful except when I went to get out of Lisa's car the wrong way. Exiting the car became my 'workout of the day'.

The blood test went well the second time around. The first time the needle wouldn't stay in. Not an unfamiliar sensation for me. The number of blood tests I've had should qualify me to being a pin cushion.

The folks in pulmonary at the VA were great. Ramon did the testing while Carrie, who really should dislike me since I hung up on her previously! She however, was extraordinarily nice to me, while generating a ton of Jewish guilt in me.

As part of the test Ramon asked if I could walk 5 minutes, not mandatory, to which I replied that if I could do that I wouldn't be there for the testing.

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