Constipation

Living in the slow lane in a rehab facility. God forbid that you miss having a daily bowel movement.

It is a place where you are told that you are destined for a near term fucking heart attack if you go 4 days without a fucking bowl movement.

A suppository is an explosive pill, inserted in your ass. Something like a minor operation. Okay for someone else. It is a distasteful 'device', invented by a sadist, designed to virtually explode the fucking contents of your stomach. Born of optimism.

Ahoy! all you guys with a little age on you. You are staring down the barrel of a fucking walnut size gland called 'the prostate'. It causes everything from cancer to growing large enough to prevent you from urinating (aka pissing).

Can't piss? The next step is a tube inserted through the penis past that over sized walnut into your bladder. Hocus, pocus your bladder starts draining into the 'pouch' attached to the tube. A 'no fun at all' addition to your lifestyle. Please note the importance of the stomach to middle aged and older guys and to a lesser extent, women.

Wishing for old age has the spirit of masochism. My doing the the Transcatheter Aorta Valve Replacement (TAVR) procedure at age 92 smacks of masochism. The procedure was an unqualified success. The unexpected side effects not so much.

Life after the TAVR is better than the alternative of no life at all, at least that's the conventional wisdom. Since no one has convinced me that looking up at the grass is better than looking down at the grass I'll go with 'looking down'.

Meanwhile, life here at the 'rehab ranch' is a challenge, fighting everything from boredom to constipation. Getting old can be fun but being old ain't for wimps or sissies. But optimism brings sunshine living right up front.....this is Noah talking about the flood.